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Frequently Asked Questions We are divorced and the children visit with each of us. How can I help them deal with this stress? Transitions can be very stressful for children. The parent who has a new residence should create a space for their children where they can always "feel at home." If finances allow, having a bedroom they can call their own and that they can help decorate would be ideal. The parent with whom the children primarily live can ease the transition by getting the clothing ready the night before they go to the other home, so the children are mentally prepared to leave one home for the other. For very young children, packing a favorite teddy bear or other loved object can help. The parent who has moved out should note any undue anxiety that the children may have about leaving their primary residence. Give them some time to adjust to their new surroundings. If the children seem to be chronically sad, talk to your ex about this, if you are on speaking terms. You might consider temporarily cutting back on the length of stay with you. Being sensitive to this issue will be to your long-term benefit because you will lay the groundwork towards establishing a trusting relationship between you and your children. The primary residential parent should allow time for their children to adjust when they return. It is normal for them to have a "settling out" period. Be patient with them. If you notice any sadness, remember that they might be missing their other parent. Sometimes children and adolescents show sadness by being short-tempered or agitated. Try to understand that they have enough love for both you and their other parent. Your relationship with them will be helped by your sensitivity to their feelings. |